Officer hit by bus.

While working in Flex, my husband became friends with Stan the Man.

Over lunch, Stan the Man told me a story of how he evened the score with his wife during a marital dispute, typical of law enforcement marriages. My husband and I went through this a lot before we realized that it was cyclical. From my experience, the way my marriage works, it is a result from the officer working an incredible amount of hours so the officer’s other half is the family manager. Then there is lack of listening owing to the frustration that each side’s complaints aren’t properly validated.

Stan used a particular incident with my husband to make his wife feel guilty when she was winning a dispute. Oh the power of manipulation! When all else fails, pull out all your stops!

Well, this incident started off when they were in the unit’s “covert” vehicle when they saw a drug dealer they wanted to pursue out on the street. I put covert in quotations because honestly, it isn’t covert. The repeat criminals in that zone already know all police vehicles, covert or not.

Once my husband saw a drug dealer dealing, then he jumped out of the vehicle to chase him  on foot while Stan followed. Stan sped up a side street to get ahead of them when he was hit by a bus in the covert vehicle. Stan proceeded on foot because he saw that the dealer started reaching for a weapon, then my husband drew his gun. After Stan arrived, patrol also arrived for the melee of arresting this drug dealer for a handgun violation, among other things.

The bus driver approached a uniformed officer asking if he had to exchange information; whereupon, he was told by patrol that no one knew what he was talking about. The bus driver left while Stan was still focused on the suspect without pausing after being hit by a bus. Stan did not publicize his accident during the melee.

Back at the station, my husband and Stan the Man spent quality time filling out reports while Stan nursed his sore muscles. Stan’s phone rang stalling their ability to finish their reports. This is when his wife picked a winning argument with him, which Stan ended by informing his wife that he had been hit by a bus. For the rest of the day, his wife was very soothing with lots of apologies.

Very nicely done Stan. Very nice.

Result: Stan recovered but learned very little.

Shopping at the Gap with a drug dealer.

Back to school shopping at its best! We decided to do it on the weekend right before school started at the mall near my stepdaughter’s mother’s house since it is huge with lots of options. Everything is close by where they live. Their school is about 3 miles from the mall, as well as their home. It’s a neat area. After lunch, we all walked into the Gap where my oldest stepdaughter was pointing out things that she liked. I was more focused on her selections while my husband had my other stepdaughter and our son with him. After she tried on some clothes, I came out into the store to find my husband to see what he though of our selections. 

I was very surprised to find him in a state where his body language was very rigid. If I didn’t know any better, he looked extremely tense and angry. His eyes were narrowed and was holding my youngest stepdaughter to his side while he held the baby.

This isn’t normal. My husband usually treats shopping as time to play peek-a-boo with the kids or try to pretend he’s not surfing the net on his phone while watching the kids. My oldest stepdaughter and I looked at each other like “what in the heck has gotten into Dad now?” As an officer, he’s usually very watchful of those around us. I’m always oblivious so it’s good that we met. I know my father sleeps better at night knowing that I married him! As I was walking across the store, I located the source of my husband’s mood change. About 20 feet away from him was a man staring in the same manner at my husband. It took me a few minutes to realize that my husband and this man were glaring at each other because of a “work related” issue. A conflict of interest, if you will.

I looked the man over and noticed signs that he is involved in a gang. I say this because I have now been educated on how to identify gang members, not that I am a seasoned spotter or anything. I could easily walk by people with gang signs and not even notice them but I noticed on this particular occasion.

I later found out that my husband has arrested this man but was in the process of building an air tight case with the hopes that this man will remain in jail longer. He wanted him off the streets permanently since he is one of the major drug dealers in my husband’s zone. I’m sure this man was aware of my husband’s plans for him.

Ironically, he was also with his children shopping for back to school clothes. I gazed at his children taking in their nice clothes and well mannered behavior. He obviously loves his family and takes care of them. This man doesn’t look like the kind of man who raises his kids in the area that he, as well as my husband work in.

Needless to say, once my husband realized we were done in the dressing room that he had us end our shopping experience at the Gap as quickly as possible.

Early in my husband’s career on the Flex Squad, we didn’t know that most of the major drug dealers live in the suburbs with their children attending nicer schools. We didn’t pause to wonder why he was so far away from the city at the time. We were very naive about the industry or “the game,” if you will. This knowledge came about through a case while he was a detective. When my husband builds a case, he does a lot of research on the witnesses and suspects. This particular suspect was a major drug dealer that lived where my husband and I grew up with his kids attending neighboring schools to the ones we attended growing up. We were fortunate to grow up in a nice area far away from the life of the city but we never knew that we lived among criminals that blended in with the suburban life style.

My husband’s rule since he became a cop is that he doesn’t mix his personal life with work. This goes without saying and is the practice for many cops. He doesn’t wear his wedding band at work. He doesn’t talk about me or the children in the presence of anyone besides his co-workers for our safety. Things like shopping at the Gap with drug dealers that he knows, as well as arrests regularly are not in his plans. Another rule is that my stepdaughters were instructed not to discuss the fact that their father is a police officer or what he does at work at school because some of their classmates’ parents may be drug dealers that he interacts with at work. At the time, we were only being careful. We did not have the knowledge that we do know about the major drug dealer’s.

I am grateful we were so careful from the start.